It was consolation and sympathy that I wanted from everyone I knew at all costs since the day. 

People who had post traumatic stress like me and who had things to take from me gave me the greatest consolation. 

I severed the relationship if the person didn't understand me. 

I was desperate to get consolation and I would give anything to get it. 

I stopped taking KIP Treatment since I felt Mr. Kim didn't seem to give me consolation. 

The worst time of my life was not when I found spouse infidelity but when I stopped taking the treatment. 

I did everything as I pleased. 

I got enraged beyond anyone's imagination day and night. 

I worked with  superhuman power for 2 years. 

I got enraged and worked like crazy. 

The result was devastating. My body collapsed let alone my mind. 

My pattern of interrogation that became habits continued anytime in daily life like eating and sleeping. 

We were violent and my husband demanded divorce. 

Still I was wanting his consolation. I forced him to give me consolation. 

He started KIP Treatment forced by my rage. 

I wanted him to give consolation based on his treatment. 

I would explode as I was listening the training file. 

It has been 3 years. 

My husband keep studying. 

He gets lazy when I get comfortable. 

I still explode sometimes but we get by. 

The space where we fought is the space for our life. 

I still express wounds in that space like habits. 

I am composed enough to think about my children's reactions. 

I still feel angry and stuffy sometimes. 

I blame my husband sometimes. 

I feel that my husband has also changed a lot. 

I should keep reminding myself that it is I who should change. 

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