Before marriage, I had a carefree life having fun and pleasure. Then, when I got married, everything changed. I had to take care of all the matters of life like food, clothes, sleep, and so on. I tried hard to keep balance with harmony and order. 

I didn't live with my mother, who would do everything for me. Now, everyone was looking to me for supporting them. I was really stressed and accumulated negative emotions. 

It started when I was in early 40s. My husband was irritable all the time at home, but seemed to be having fun outside home. He would stay out most of the time even when he was very sick. Still, I wanted to save his life, so I gave him one of my kidneys. Still, he went out to have fun with such a dangerous condition. I was wrong to hope for the better. 

I learned about the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology. I focused on the training and doing learning tasks and therapeutic tasks. I can see that I am improving.

1) My wounds would not disappear at one blow, but it has subsided a lot. 

2) I do not pay attention to my husband's speech and actions. I think one moment but it passes the next moment. 

3) I can focus on myself while practicing smiling. 

4) I have lost 12 pounds. 

5) I feel comfortable and confident. 

I try to get up at the same time in the morning, and eat at the same time. I try not to have snacks. Above all, I have more time for myself and have made it a habit to sit at a kitchen table and study. I try not to pay attention to my husband's speech and actions under any circumstance, and when I still fee bad, I do therapeutic tasks. Then, it just disappears. I just practice talking to family with a smiling face on and on. 

(KIP 039)